


I Was Half, You Loved Me Whole

by blackstyx



Series: NyxNoct Week 2020 [4]
Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Family, Galahd (Final Fantasy XV), Galahd Customs, M/M, Traditions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-29
Updated: 2020-09-29
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:53:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26680942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackstyx/pseuds/blackstyx
Summary: Nyx was thankful for the dim lighting in the room, otherwise he was sure Noctis would have seen the tears brimming in his eyes, the way he swallowed just that much harder. He would have loved for Noctis to meet his family when they were still alive. His mother would have adored him, fussing around his son’s lover, pushing plate after plate of Galahdian food into his hand. Selena would have laughed at how stupidly in love Nyx was before rebuking him for all the risks he had taken to keep Noctis alive.
Relationships: Noctis Lucis Caelum/Nyx Ulric
Series: NyxNoct Week 2020 [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1939897
Comments: 14
Kudos: 24
Collections: NyxNoct Week 2020





	I Was Half, You Loved Me Whole

**Author's Note:**

> For mom.   
> 

Leaning against the headboard of their bed, Nyx watched Noctis as he stood by the window. Nyx knew what Noctis was seeing as he took in the foreign scenery outside their temporary home, the lush trees and jungle growing along the pulse that was the river Galahd. 

When they arrived the day prior, Noctis’ first words were, “It’s so green.” Insomnia wasn’t lacking in vegetation, but it was different from Galahd. Everything the river touched was flourishing, providing the people with enough to live. And what the earth didn’t provide they found in the ocean, the fisher boats scattered along the pier stretching along the town. 

Nyx still couldn’t believe he was able to show Noctis where he grew up, where he and his family lived, where he and Libs played in the woods.

His eyes kept on Noctis’ every move, the way his nearly shoulder length hair moved with the soft breeze coming through the open window. Up until the day prior a beard had covered his jawline, but for the Feast of Ashes he wanted to be presentable. The sentiment was endearing and much appreciated, showing Nyx how important it was for Noctis to be part of such a huge festivity although it wasn’t part of his culture. 

“Tell me more about the feast,” Noctis said softly as he turned his back to the window to look at Nyx, the only light in the room a lamp on the nightstand. It was enough to see the angry red scar on Noctis’ pale torso and Nyx winced as he remembered why it tarnished his skin. 

None of them had been allowed to enter the throne room with Noctis for his final battle, but the moment the light broke through the sky and illuminated the hallways of the Citadel, Nyx was the first one inside. There was blood, so much blood, when he reached Noctis who was nailed to the throne with the sword of his father. He heard gasps coming from the entrance when the others followed, Ignis the first one at Nyx’s side to get the sword off and out of Noctis. 

And then all Nyx remembered was the warmth of the Phoenix Down he pressed against the wound, cursing the Kings of Yore for their cruelty, for the sacrifice they wanted for their failure. He cursed them and begged for their help, eyes pressed close as he waited. Time seemed to stretch on, hope slowly turning into desperation and then he felt the body underneath his hand moving before a greedy gasp for oxygen filled the air. 

Some nights Nyx would wake up with a start, reaching out to his right to find Noctis still lying next to him, warm and breathing. The scar would never go away, a scary reminder of what they both nearly lost. 

“What do you wanna know?” Nyx rasped, voice still hoarse from the things they had done not too long ago. 

Noctis pushed from the window, walking back to the bed and crawled up to where Nyx was resting, naked bodies pressed against each other as he draped his arm around his midsection. “How exactly do you celebrate? You never mentioned any specifics.”

Fingers carding through Noctis’ hair, Nyx thought about the question, contemplating what seemed important and what not. It was the first time since he left Galahd so many years ago - before the Fall of Insomnia, before the Long Dark - he was back to celebrate the Feast of Ashes. Nyx wasn’t even sure himself how the locals celebrated these days, wondering if things had changed during the time of darkness. Libertus didn’t say anything when they talked about their visit, just offering his house for their stay.

“You won’t find cemeteries along the Galahd River,” Nyx said softly, still playing with Noctis’ hair, knowing how much he liked it when Nyx did this, fingertips brushing over his scalp. “Summer along the river means a lot of rain, occasionally flooding the streets and turning our woods into wetlands. If we would bury our dead like you do in Insomnia, they wouldn’t stay there.” 

Nyx shifted, wanted to reach out for the glass of water on the nightstand, but Noctis beat him to it and Nyx thanked him with a smile. “Instead we burn our dead,” Nyx continued after taking a sip and offering the water to Noctis. “Did you notice the waterfall? And the trees on the foot of the cliffs?”

Noctis nodded, “The ones as high as the cliff itself with the red leaves?”

“Yeah." He put the glass back on the nightstand again." They had been planted by our ancestors hundreds of years ago. Each tree represents a family. It’s at their roots that we bury our dead. With the Feast of Ashes we honor our families, our forbears. We visit the tree and release a number of fireflies reflecting the lives lost in that generation, but we also talk to the family members, showing them they’re not forgotten.” 

To Noctis this tradition might sound stupid and obsolete and maybe they were. During the Long Night people might have other things in mind than paying respect to the dead, and he told Noctis this much. “I’m not sure if it’s still done this way. I promise you it won’t take long. All I want is to pay respect to my mom and Selena.”

When Noctis moved, Nyx pulled his hand away from his hair, finding blue eyes searching his face. “We’re in no rush. We can spend time with your family.” 

Now it was Noctis’ turn caressing Nyx’s body, fingertips softly gliding over his scar on his right chest before pressing the softest of kiss against his skin. “I want to learn as much as possible about you. Where you come from, what makes Galahd so special. Everything you couldn’t show me in Insomnia.”

Nyx was thankful for the dim lighting in the room, otherwise he was sure Noctis would have seen the tears brimming in his eyes, the way he swallowed just that much harder. He would have loved for Noctis to meet his family when they were still alive. His mother would have adored him, fussing around his son’s lover, pushing plate after plate of Galahdian food into his hand. Selena would have laughed at how stupidly in love Nyx was before rebuking him for all the risks he had taken to keep Noctis alive. Instead, all that was left was a visit to their family tree. 

People loved to say time heals all wounds, but Nyx knew better. If any, it got easier living with the loss, but even in his early forties he missed his mother more than words could express. 

They fell silent. The only indication neither of them was asleep were fingers dancing over his bare skin and a tight grip around Noctis’ body. 

Eventually they did sleep, getting woken up by a soft knock on the door and the word, “Breakfast!” yelled through the door by Libertus. 

It was still rather early and neither of them was in a rush. So they decided to cuddle up for a moment longer before sharing a quick shower, Nyx helping with Noctis’ back and Noctis helping Nyx with his braids, doing them again once they were dried and halfway dressed. Each day Nyx was looking forward to those small things they shared, even when Noctis pointed out the gray streaks in his hair as he redid his braids. 

Thirty minutes after Libertus’ wake up call they entered the kitchen, finding their host outdoing himself with the amount of food he made for them. Libertus’ wife was already prepping the food at the bar they had opened once things had calmed down, so it was just the three of them, talking and laughing, Nyx and Libertus watching Noctis trying all the different dishes. 

“Ignis would be so hurt seeing you enjoying your greens so much,” Nyx teased, both of them knowing Noctis had outgrown his picky eating many years ago. 

Ignoring Nyx completely, Noctis turned to Libertus, “As you’re the more adult person in the room, Libs, how do we get the fireflies for tonight?” 

“Ah, he told you about it? As sad as the occasion maybe is, but watching the people releasing them all at the same time? It is a sight you won’t forget,” Libertus said as he poured them all more tea. “Before we came to Insomnia, the neighbor kids started catching them and selling them in glasses so the people don’t have to do it. Way back in the days the families went out the day prior catching them. Some still do, others will buy them from the kids.”

Nyx pulled a piece of the bread off the loaf, garnishing it with some roasted vegetables and handed it over to Noctis to taste. “I didn’t know it was still done this way.”  
“Because you never asked. And because Violet and I thought you guys wouldn’t be prepared, we caught some for you. You’re welcome.” With a smug grin and a punch to Nyx’s shoulder, Libertus got up and poured some more water into a kettle and sat it on the oven. 

“And they will be released at the same time? The fireflies, I mean,” Noctis asked Nyx between bits, even licking his fingers off as he finished the piece of bread off. Seeing Noctis enjoying the food, allowing his curiosity to show, it was what Nyx had been hoping for. 

“Six on the dot. Shops and stores close around five, bars and restaurants open at nine again, so people get the chance to raise their glasses to the ones who can’t be with us anymore.” It was once again Libertus answering, aware of how out of the loop Nyx was with his own traditions; bless his brotherly heart for not calling him out on it. Nyx never expected losing this part of himself, reminding him to recollect who he was. 

Despite Noctis being the one eating the most from the selection of food Libertus had offered in his tiny kitchen, he was also the first one finished. Noctis helped Libertus clean up, and Nyx watched while the two of them did the dishes while laughing and joking together. It was such a wholesome picture to him, he wished he had Prompto’s knack for taking pictures. 

Eventually Libertus chased them out of the house, giving Nyx the chance to show Noctis more of Galahd. Much had changed and yet was still the same when they walked down the wooden paths and towards the town center. Although it was winter and the temperatures mild, Noctis leaned against Nyx and draped one of his arms around his shoulders while Nyx told him about his childhood. Chasing Libertus along the pier until they entered the woods with large trees stretching into the sky, running through the underbrush until they reached the perfect spot for them to grab one of the lianas and swing right into the water. When he returned home, his mother only rolled her eyes at the drenched clothes before telling him to take a real good bath. Nyx even showed Noctis the spot where their old bar had been, which was now a secondhand store. 

Not much about the exterior had changed except for the shop sign, but when they stepped in the image in front of his eyes slowly faded. The counter, built out of unfinished wood of a Galahdian tree by the two of them, had been torn out and replaced by racks of clothes. Nyx remembered how the light had reflected off the bottles of liquor stacked behind it, casting sparks on the former green walls. Now the walls were beige and were lined with shelves filled with shoes. Only the hardwood floor was the same. 

Noctis couldn’t know what Nyx was seeing in his mind, but he still reached for his hand, entwining their fingers, and gave him a squeeze. Nyx needed to remember he still had his memories and so, after having another look around, finding more details had changed, they left and stopped at one of the stalls scattered around the marketplace. Neither of them was particularly hungry, still full from the breakfast Libertus had graciously blessed them with. Nevertheless Nyx got them both one of the traditional treats, puff pastry filled with red berries and topped with powdered sugar which got stuck to Noctis’ nose and Nyx was too willing to help him get rid of.

When they moved on, passing more buildings and corners, Nyx told Noctis more anecdotes, even at places the signs of war were still clearly visible. Aside from the rubble and obvious construction sides, it felt good seeing the town so busy and hearing laughter filling the air again. 

Throughout their walk, Nyx had loved watching Noctis taking everything in, asking questions and admiring a place so unlike the one he grew up at. The way Noctis’ eyes sparkled with each new piece of information reminded Nyx of the young man he had met over ten years ago, showing he never fully lost this side of himself after everything he had been through. When Nyx pulled Noctis against his side and pressed a kiss to his lips, both of them smiled. 

On their way to the pier, where the Royal Vessel lay next to the fisher and trading boats, they passed a stall run by a handful of kids who were selling fireflies, all glasses lined up according to the numbers of bugs inside. Although Libertus took care of their needs, Nyx still handed them some money and the rest of the treats before taking Noctis’ hand again.

The people got ready to close the stores and restaurants for the day as the streets were bathed in a red hue. It was time for them to return to the Ostium home where they found Violet and Libertus preparing a quick dinner for them to eat before they would head out again. Being the mindful wife and soon-to-be mother Nyx came to know Violet for, she reminded them how with the setting sun the temperature was about to drop. 

So when it was time for them to head to the Ashen Wood, Nyx gave Noctis one of his jackets, making sure he was warm and cozy. 

“I’m fine,” Noctis insisted, fighting Nyx off as he wanted to add a scarf. “I doubt it’ll be that cold.”

“It’s close to the water. Don’t tell me later I didn’t warn you.” Although Noctis told him he didn’t need the extra layer, Nyx still draped the fabric around his neck and pulled him closer for a little kiss. “Thanks for joining me,” he whispered against his lips, eyes searching Noctis’.

“Thank you for allowing me to be a part of something so important to you.”

~

The easiest way to reach the woods was by boat, and so they returned to the pier where tiny ferries made the trip between the town and the quay at the waterfall. Families and single individuals were joining Nyx and Noctis on their journey, some of them holding jars with one firefly, others held too many to count. The light of their pulsing bodies danced across people’s faces and illuminated the tiny space on the boat.

With each inch they got closer, the noise of the waterfall growing, Nyx clung a bit tighter to Noctis’ hand. Since the night prior he had thought about the words he wanted to say, but each seemed so empty compared to how he felt. No word was strong enough to express the hole inside his heart their loss left him with or how much he still loved them. 

Nyx still thought about it as they arrived at the quay and as he led them to the spot his family tree had been holding its quiet watch for the past several decades, thick roots framing the paths. The group leaving the ferry got smaller and smaller the deeper they got into the woods, families and people following their own ways to their memorials. 

When Noctis and Nyx arrived, red leaves were rustling in the wind as if it was welcoming the last of the Ulric’s and Nyx placed his hand in greeting against the trunk. It had been too long since he had the chance to visit his family, too long since they talked. And yet here he stood in front of them and he was at a loss for words. 

He had no idea how long he stood in the dark with his palm pressed against the bark and his eyes closed when the sound of faraway bells reached his ears, announcing it was time. So far Noctis had been silently watching him, even now as he pulled the little jar out of the satchel. He didn’t hesitate to open it, waiting for the fireflies to take off like the others he saw from the corner of his eyes. Yet he watched as they both crawled up the glass, their bodies pulsing in sync, and sitting on the rim for a long moment. 

Nyx knew it didn’t mean a thing, knew it was just a coincidence for the fireflies to stay, and still it made it harder for him to breathe. He was so distracted watching the beetles, he nearly missed Noctis speaking. 

“I wished the circumstances were different, but Nyx told me enough about you for me to feel as if I’ve met you. He speaks so highly of you, of everything you’ve done for him. And Selena.”

When Noctis’ words sunk in, Nyx felt off balance. He hadn’t expected for Noctis to speak, to crouch down and place a hand on the ground, to connect with his family the way he did. 

“You’d be so proud of him. He earned himself the nickname Hero, and sometimes I feel he has no idea how true it is. He took on kings to help me protect my family, my friends, and my people. Without him, we would be facing a world of darkness.” 

It was hard looking at Noctis while he spoke so highly about him to his mother, eyes flicking back to the jar he was still holding and the two fireflies still keeping them company. 

“He also saved me. In more than one way. He didn’t give up, pulled me from the brink of death. And even after, when another darkness was clouding my mind, he never gave up on me. You raised the best man I’ve ever known.

“And Selena? His thoughts are always with you. He doesn’t say it, but it’s the way he looks at dresses or jewelry and I know he thinks it would be something you’d like. By the way, you’ve been right, he is a big softy. But I like this about him. Maybe I’ve a thing for handsome brutes with a soft core.” 

Somehow Nyx’s eyes had settled back on Noctis, on the way he slowly shifted and was now looking at him in return, his eyes glistening and it showed in his voice as he continued. 

“I promise I’ll take good care of him because he means the world to me. And maybe we can come back when we hold our wedding here in Galahd.”

As hard as Nyx had tried holding the tears back, it was all in vain at the rather subtle proposal. It was at this moment the fireflies finally took off, circling them as Nyx pulled Noctis to his feet and into his arms. He was dimly aware he owed him an answer to his question, but when Nyx spoke all he could say was, “I miss them so much.”

“I know. I know. And while I can’t replace them, I wouldn’t even if I could, I’m here for you. Whatever you need.” 

As Nyx buried his face against Noctis’ neck, the wetness of his tears soaked into his warm skin, and he clung to him even tighter. He knew the losses Noctis had faced were the same. He, too, was familiar with the insurmountable weight of hurt hitting so unexpectedly when reality reminded him. 

When Nyx felt Noctis shifting, he wanted to hold on_to him even harder, not ready to let go just yet and Noctis let him. Nyx inhaled deeply when he finally allowed himself to loosen his grip, hand reaching up to wipe his tears away, but Noctis stopped him. “It’s okay. Remember what you tell me whenever I wake up from my nightmares. It is okay. And I want you to know that we can come back here whenever you feel like it. This is your home as much as Insomnia is.”

Sniffling, allowing Noctis to dry his face with his thumb, Nyx croaked out, “I don’t feel like I know this place anymore.”

“Because it has been twenty years. But look at you? You still wear your braids and beads, your tattoos, you’re still Galahdian through and through. Just because you need to remember doesn’t mean you don’t know anything anymore. Hey. Look at me.” 

Nyx felt Noctis’ soft hands cupping his face, didn’t even notice his eyes trailing off to where Noctis had been crouching just moments ago. When he focused back on Noctis, on his Noctis, his heart leaped in his chest. The way those sky-blue eyes looked at him with so much warmth meant the world to Nyx, holding so much more meaning than any onlooker could have guessed. It was between the two of them and only them. 

“You proposed to me.” The idea was still strange. Not because Nyx didn’t think about it himself. He just thought it would be him dropping the question, constantly looking for the right time and place and even thinking about what ring to buy. Now Noctis beat him to it, his soft smile proving Nyx he didn’t imagine it. 

“I did. And you haven’t answered yet.”

Nyx reached for Noctis’ hand and brought it to his lips, kissing his knuckles. “Yes. Of course yes.”

“Good. Otherwise proposing in front of your family and you saying no would’ve been really embarrassing. Don’t you think?” 

Another quick kiss was shared between them before Noctis took the jar Nyx was still holding from him and pointed to the satchel Violet had packed for them. “Have a look. There must be two bottles of Galahdian ale for us to celebrate with.”

“They knew?”

“I wanted them to be prepared either way. And now come. I think there’s still a lot to tell your mother and sister.” With that, Noctis sat down in front of the trunk, patting the spot next to him, and Nyx joined him, handing him one of the bottles hidden in the satchel and kept the other one for himself. Before either of them clinked their glasses, they both poured a bit over the roots of the tree. 

Fireflies danced through the air, surrounding them as they told their story to Nyx’s family. A family Noctis would soon become a part of. Nyx held him close, sharing warmth as he entwined their fingers. His eyes fell on bare ring fingers, knowing soon they would be adorned by thin black promise bands until they would exchange their vows in a traditional Galahdian ceremony. Where they would slip those rings from their fingers in favor of the Galahdian custom whereby their skin got marked to symbolize their union. The thrill of knowing Noctis’ skin being adorned by a traditional Galahdian tattoo made Nyx pull him even closer. 

Time was flying as they both kept talking to Selena and his mother, speaking of the past and what they hoped for the future, when the sound of the ship’s bell reminded them it was time to return. Neither of them was ready to leave, Nyx’s heart torn between the grief he still felt and happiness upon seeing Noctis adopting Galahdian customs so easily. 

When they finally made their way back, they left with a promise. A promise of celebrating their vows together with Nyx’s family, and starting a new chapter in their lives with many more stories to come.

**Author's Note:**

> Day 4 of NyxNoct Week 2020 with a glimpse of home, Galahdian traditions, and family. Partially inspired by this amazing [mood board](https://hearthredmage.tumblr.com/post/628815214007189504)
> 
> My eternal gratitude to [Keuukiel ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FragilityandWaveringEmotions/pseuds/FragilityandWaveringEmotions) for inspiring me and helping me to find the right words ♥
> 
> Please feel free to leave some love, it's highly appreciated ♥


End file.
